The Orange Bead Collection
When Will I Love Myself?…..And Other Daily Mind Games
Let me start off by saying I am so humbled by all of the support I have been receiving lately. You guys are helping me so much. I promised to always be honest and upfront so here it goes. My medication dosage has been lowered and I have been feeling extremely low this past week. The thoughts I never want to come true are returning, seeping into my bones like a winter chill. I will have good moments with true happiness, but others with utter, raw sorrow for little to no reason. I picture myself as a raw wound, some...
My 7th Grade Bullies Broke My Heart
I am literally writing this from a cabana on the beach in Hawaii drinking POG juice. However, one of my curses/blessings is that I have a mind that never stops. It keeps thinking and formulating and worrying even when I AM sitting on the beach in Hawaii. Taylor and I had a discussion this trip regarding why I always ask him if “he’s okay”. I never noticed it before but it’s honestly so true. I worry about whether or not he’s okay, my family’s okay, my loved ones are okay multiple times on a daily basis. Taylor gets frustrated, my...
The Problem with those “Instafamous” Women
DISCLAIMER: I use a lot of instaphrases in this post so I hope it doesn’t instaoffend any instafriend. #instaphrases #sofun Let’s all admit it right now, we have all looked at the Explore page of our Instagram and seen some absolutely flawless women that we sometimes end up desiring. My common thoughts are usually, “That girl’s butt is fab, wish I looked like that casually sitting on the beach” or “holy crap, PERFECT eyebrows, why don’t mine have that arch when I first wake up in the morning”. These are just a few of my favorite obsessive thoughts that burrow...
Orangelight Story: I Thought My Brother Was A Monster by Natalie Stubblefield
I want to start by saying that The Orange Bead Collective is a vibrant source of light and power. This brilliant movement is exactly the thing I needed to see when I felt the most scared, alone, and abandoned. I truly believe the world can benefit from movements like this and I am so thankful that someone has created a safe haven for people to turn to when they feel the absolutely lost and voiceless. My whole life, I lived with a person who suffers from sever bipolar disorder: my brother. A brother is a person who is supposed to...
Let’s Start a Positive Trend: Use ‘Depression’ and ‘Anxiety’ with Intent & Understanding
Thank you to everyone who has been sending encouraging messages to me and sharing their beautiful stories, you are all instrumental to my recovery and dealing with my Depression and Anxiety. I have to admit, these past few days have been some of the lowest I’ve had since going on medication for Depression. As I mentioned before, my dosage was lowered and the resulting effects have been brutal on my mind and my body. The thoughts of “what the hell am I doing with my life?” have been slowly creeping back into my mind like a soundless fog. Remember the...